When we think of estate planning, we often focus on the distribution of physical assets—money, property, heirlooms. But there’s another form of inheritance that is equally, if not more, valuable: the passing down of personal values, life lessons, and meaningful philosophies.
Ethical Wills have been used for thousands of years. They started as a tradition for parents to leave letters of moral and spiritual guidance for their children, dating as far back as biblical times. This practice has been embraced and adapted by people of various cultures and faiths as a way to communicate wisdom, love, and hope for future generations.
In this article we’ll explore Ethical Wills and how you can include your beliefs, stories, and experiences in your estate plan – with a modern take.
An Ethical Will is a personal document through which individuals share their values, beliefs, life lessons, and hopes for their loved ones. Unlike a legal Will, which is mainly concerned with distributing property, an Ethical Will is not legally binding and focuses instead on conveying messages of wisdom, gratitude, guidance, and love.
The origins of Ethical Wills date back thousands of years, with roots in ancient cultures that valued passing down moral and spiritual guidance. Today, Ethical Wills are written by people from all walks of life who wish to leave behind more than material wealth. They can be letters, recorded messages, or any medium the writer feels will best capture their voice and intentions.
Many find that creating an Ethical Will brings peace of mind, as it provides a unique opportunity to reflect on one’s life and communicate heartfelt values and experiences. For recipients, an Ethical Will can offer comfort, continuity, and a sense of connection with their loved one’s legacy for years to come.
You love the sound of an Ethical Will but want to ensure you have a modern (comprehensive and strategic!) estate plan? This is where your Letter of Wishes comes in. A Letter of Wishes is read after your death, alongside your Will.
Your Will is a formal legal document that must follow legal rules to be valid and enforceable. Your Letter of Wishes is an informal document that does not need to follow legal rules.
Your Letter of Wishes is where you add your thoughts, stories, and feelings to your estate plan.
What goes into a Letter of Wishes depends on the person who’s writing it – no two Letters of Wishes are the same. It depends on each person’s values, beliefs, and preferences for how certain parts of their estate are dealt with and what they want to preserve for their loved ones.
Your Letter of Wishes provides an opportunity to:
Express your values and beliefs
Share what has been most important to you throughout your life, whether it’s faith, family, hard work, kindness, or compassion.
Pass down life lessons
Reflect on the major lessons you’ve learned, whether through triumph or adversity, and offer guidance for future generations.
Strengthen family bonds
Letters of Wishes often emphasise the importance of relationships and can deepen connections between family members by providing insight into the experiences that shaped your life.
Offer forgiveness or gratitude
It’s not uncommon to include apologies for past mistakes or heartfelt messages of thanks to those who have supported and loved you.
Not all Letters of Wishes are created equal. The traditional legal approach to a Letter of Wishes is to provide practical, non-binding directions to executors or trustees on handling specific aspects of the estate, such as financial distributions or administrative decisions, rather than addressing sentimental matters like personal values or beliefs.
Here at Sun Wills & Estates, we have moved way beyond the traditional Letter of Wishes, transforming it into a dynamic, invaluable part of your estate plan that not only addresses practical guidance but also honours your values, beliefs, and personal legacy.
We include our Estate Workbook including Letter of Wishes in each of our Will Value Packages. This workbook features dedicated sections with writing prompts, allowing you to capture milestones, reflect on life’s meaningful chapters, share wisdom for future generations, and leave heartfelt letters of love.
When we refer to a Letter of Wishes in this article, we’re specifically talking about our own Estate Workbook. Not all lawyers approach a Letter of Wishes with this level of detail or emphasise the importance of capturing your personal legacy.
While a Will is essential for ensuring that your assets are properly distributed and nominating certain power positions in your estate plan, a Letter of Wishes is just as important for leaving behind an emotional and spiritual legacy. Here are some reasons why you might consider writing one:
Clarify and solidify your values
Writing a Letter of Wishes gives you an opportunity to reflect on what’s most important to you and how you want to be remembered. It’s a chance to distil your beliefs into something tangible that can guide future generations.
Deepen relationships with loved ones
Sharing your Letter of Wishes with your family and friends can create a deeper sense of connection and understanding. It allows them to see the world through your eyes, offering insight into your experiences, hopes, and wisdom.
Provide emotional support
After your passing, a Letter of Wishes can provide immense comfort to your loved ones. Knowing that they have a document in which you have expressed your love, offered guidance, or extended forgiveness can be a powerful source of solace during a time of grief.
Resolve unresolved feelings
A Letter of Wishes provides an outlet to address unfinished emotional business. You can express apologies, ask for forgiveness, or offer words of reconciliation that can bring peace to both you and your loved ones.
There are no set rules or guidelines for what must go into a Letter of Wishes—it’s a deeply personal document that reflects your unique experiences and values. However, here are a few common themes people often include:
Values and beliefs
Share what matters most to you. This could include religious or spiritual beliefs, your views on family, work ethic, generosity, or any other guiding principles that have shaped your life.
Life lessons
Reflect on the most important lessons you’ve learned over the course of your life. What advice would you offer to your children, grandchildren, or friends? What challenges or triumphs taught you the most?
Hopes and wishes for the future
Share your hopes for the future of your loved ones. This could include your dreams for their personal or professional lives, their relationships, or their own spiritual journeys.
Expressions of love and gratitude
Use your Letter of Wishes as an opportunity to express your love and appreciation for the people in your life. Whether it’s family, friends, or even mentors, you can acknowledge the impact they’ve had on your life and how much they mean to you.
Apologies and forgiveness
If there are unresolved conflicts or lingering regrets, your Letter of Wishes is a place where you can address them. Offering apologies or forgiveness can help bring emotional closure to both you and your loved ones.
While Wills deal with the distribution of wealth and assets, Letters of Wishes offer a way to pass on something far more personal—your values, beliefs, and life lessons. They provide a lasting legacy that can offer guidance, comfort, and inspiration to your loved ones for generations to come.
Writing a Letter of Wishes is a powerful way to reflect on your life and the principles that matter most to you. By sharing your wisdom and experiences, you can leave a lasting imprint on the hearts and minds of your family and friends, ensuring that your legacy goes far beyond the material.
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