Have you thought about your own funeral? What kind of funeral would you like? Do you want a formal funeral? A fun celebration of life? Do you care about the food or music or photos? The ceremony or celebration can be a pivotal moment for loved ones, allowing them to navigate their grief and have it witnessed collectively. It’s an opportunity for shared memories and comforting rituals.
Wishes about burial, cremation, and funerals are highly personal and vary widely. All approaches are valid and can be recorded in an estate plan. This is usually done using a combination of a Will and Letter of Wishes.
Planning ahead allows you to ensure that your final wishes are honoured, while also relieving your family of the burden of making tough decisions during an emotional time. It also helps to avoid potential family disputes after you pass away.
In this article, we walk through the essential steps to take when planning your own funeral, from writing down your wishes to prepaying costs and incorporating these plans into your estate documents.
The first and most important step is to write down your specific wishes regarding how you want your funeral to be conducted. Do you want a traditional religious service, a non-religious ceremony, or a simple graveside service? Perhaps you prefer a memorial or celebration of life that’s more informal. There is a mind-blowingly HUGE number of options available.
Here are some key questions to consider when writing down your funeral wishes:
Burial or cremation?
Would you prefer to be buried or cremated?
If buried, do you have a specific cemetery or plot in mind? Is being eco-friendly important to you? What clothes do you want to be buried in? Do you want to wear any jewellery, like your wedding or engagement ring?
If cremated, would you like your ashes scattered in a particular place, or kept by loved ones? Do you want your ashes kept together or are you happy for them to be separated between loved ones? Are you happy for your ashes to be used in keepsakes, such as jewellery?
Eco-friendly?
An increasingly popular option is planning for an environmentally friendly or “green” funeral. This could involve:
If sustainability is an important value for you, it may be worth exploring eco-friendly options to ensure that your funeral reflects your environmental beliefs.
Type of service
What kind of service do you envision? A religious ceremony, a celebration of life, or a gathering at a favourite location? Include preferences for the tone, setting, and even music or readings that have personal significance.
Funeral details
Specify if you want particular songs played, poems or readings shared, or certain people to speak at your service. You might also want to indicate whether you prefer flowers, donations to a specific charity, or another tribute from attendees.
Guest list
If there are particular individuals you’d like to make sure are informed of your passing, make a list of who should be notified and invited to your funeral. Similarly, are there people you don’t want invited?
By providing clear instructions, you help ensure your funeral reflects your personal values, beliefs, and preferences.
Funerals can be expensive, and the last thing you want is for your family to bear the financial strain in the wake of your death. One way to relieve this burden is by prepaying for your funeral. Many funeral homes offer prepayment plans that allow you to pay in advance for the specific type of service you desire.
Advantages of prepaying:
Before committing to a prepayment plan, make sure to carefully review the contract, understanding what is included and what might require additional costs later. Keep a copy of the contract with your other estate documents so that your family can access it when needed.
If prepaying a funeral isn’t the right option for you, consider whether you want your funeral costs paid from a particular bank account or asset. Talk to your estate planning lawyer about what options are available for incorporating this into your estate plan.
Choose the right executor: as a matter of law, you do not own your body post-death. Your executor is the person responsible for disposing of your body and organising your funeral or other service. There is no legal requirement for a funeral or other service to be held, so it is your executor’s choice whether or not to arrange one;
Include your directions in your Will and Letter of Wishes: include your directions for whether you want to be buried or cremated (and where you want to be buried or your ashes kept/scattered) in your Will and your general directions for your funeral or other service. You can include much more detail in your Letter of Wishes for your body disposal and funeral (or other service). For example, you may wish to specify who to invite to the funeral, the particular photos, videos, or music you want used, the type of location – your imagination is the limit;
Directions and guidance only: any directions in your Will or Letter of Wishes are not binding on your executor, so it is important that you choose someone to act as your executor who you trust to follow your wishes;
Discuss your wishes: often body disposal and funeral arrangements are finalised before the Will is reviewed. For this reason, we recommend you also discuss your wises with your immediate family and nominated executors. Even if your executor or immediate family can’t remember your exact wishes, if they know it is important to you and you have recorded your wishes, they will know to go looking for your Will and Letter of Wishes when they are making arrangements. Additionally, having conversations with your family about your preferences can help avoid misunderstandings or conflict later.
Just like other parts of your estate plan, it’s important to review your body disposal and funeral plans periodically. Your preferences may change over time, so it’s a good idea to revisit your wishes every few years or after major life events.
For instance, if your family grows, you may want to add people to your guest list. Or if you relocate, your burial or cremation preferences may need updating to reflect your new circumstances. Whatever the changes, keeping your plans current ensures that your final wishes are accurate and respected.
A well-planned funeral is a meaningful farewell that reflects your personality, values, and legacy. It offers your family a clear path during their time of grief and allows you to leave behind a thoughtful and lasting gift.
If you’re ready to start planning or have any questions about incorporating your funeral arrangements into your estate plan, feel free to reach out to us for professional guidance. We’re here to support you through this important process.
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